


So Many Second Chances

by fannishliss



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Endgame fixit, Mischief, Multi, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-02-08 14:19:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishliss/pseuds/fannishliss
Summary: Steve gets so many second chances. Some involve Loki.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is full of spoilers from Avengers Endgame. I tried not to put too many into the tags. I'll retag more fully in a week or so.

_Loki’s beloved Mother was raised by witches.Growing up in Asgard, Loki was raised to fit in as well as he could with Asgardian society — fighting, training, sparring, eating, drinking, and fucking in drunken piles whenever Thor felt like it.But Frigga knew that Loki was meant to be raised by a witch, just as she herself had been, so she made sure to give her younger son the same advantages she had been given._

 

_Loki knew he would never be as wise as his mother — witch wise, or any other wisdom. His expertise was more in the realm of cleverness and trickery. But he was certainly witch enough to smell that the Tony Stark holding the briefcase was out of his timeframe, and once he had that knowledge, he could smell more faintly several of the others, including the Captain very near by.Something about the Captain called to the Tesseract in his hands — he’d worry about that later — but in a flash it was in his hands, and he wished himself out of his troubles — outthe Stark building’s lobby, out of his bonds— and into the troubles of the Captain from the future._

 

_The mind stone buzzed at him on the edge of his consciousness. He violently wished to never see it again.But if these “Avengers” were traveling through time, they were probably gathering all of the stones, starting with the three in this Midgardian City — just as Loki himself had intended to do.The time stone was well-guarded by the Ancient Sorcerer Supreme, but if the other Avengers from the Captain’s future had split up to retrieve them, there was no harm in riding along to find out how a ragtag bunch of Midgardians knew anything about the stones in the first place, what their plan was, and how Loki could use it to his own advantage._

 

_Loki laughed silently from within his glamour of invisibility, as the present day Captain immediately assumed that the future Captain was Loki himself. When the present day Captain seemed to be winning the scuffle, Loki spelled him a little weaker so that the time-traveling Captain won instead.Then Loki hastily bound himself to the Captain as subtly as he could — an invisible hitchhiker — so that the power of the stones or whatever power they were using to propel themselves through time, would carry Loki along as well.Nothing good awaited him on Asgard in this time frame — better to go with the stones and see what he could make of his proximity to the most powerful gems in the universe— fragments of creation itself._

 

_When the stones had all been assembled into a gauntlet of Tony Stark’s making, Loki almost broke cover to steal them away.But Banner was right about the risks of trying to use them.Loki had no way to know how wielding the stones would affect his Jotunn nature.He remembered the dire warnings that went along with every mention of the stones, never to handle them directly, and certainly never to combine them.Loki already knew the Titan was mad, he had been a victim controlled by that madness when Thanos sent him to conquer Midgard. Thanos had a baffling sort of madness — mostly despair, but threaded through with rage, and bolstered by a hefty narcissistic self-righteousness.Thanos truly believed in his mission, making him all the more terrifying — so Loki helped the Avengers as well as he could from behind the scenes._

 

_“Thor’s hammer — use it — you are worthy!” he whispered into the Captain’s ear, and as Loki knew, it was true. The Captain thought nothing of himself as he fought.His focus was on defeating the mad Titan who’d destroyed half the universe — and unhinged the other half.Loki urged the Captain along, subtly assisting whenever he could, trying to help the Captain recover from the Titan’s massively destructive blows._

 

_Finally the battle was over, and Stark had wished the Titan and his forces away.Loki cringed at the grating tears in the cosmic unity as the creation stones undid the Titan.At last, it was all over, and it was time for the Captain to take the stones back to their rightful places._

 

_Loki still rode along, uncertain as to why.Perhaps it was merely for the firsthand knowledge of where the stonescould be found.The stones sang to him, whispering little witchy songs that caught at his mystical awareness.The mind stone tickled at his brain, seeking the influence it had once garnered there.The tesseract called to him, offering him the universe.But Loki, wisely for once! resisted._

 

_He had seen first hand how the stones had shattered Stark, and grievously wounded Banner.He heard them speak of how even the Titan had not remained unscathed.Loki was not so foolish as to attempt the wielding of such deadly, wild energy — when merely the power drained off of the tesseract created both the Captain he was bound to, and the Captain who seemed to have harnessed a star inside herself.Loki’s brushes with the stones were enough to convince him to avoid using them directly unless necessity demanded.He was, if not content, at least, convinced to remain pure of the stones and their fatal influence._

 

_The fight with Thanos and its aftermath took place so quickly that Loki was witness to very few long and boring conversations.He was astonished to see the state of his brother — and very glad he had avoided the fate another Loki had been dealt in another time line.It seemed very unlikely that a mere strangulation had killed him, when he had brushed off so many other deaths, but if, by some quirk of the stones, there were now two Lokis roaming the universe — well, it made him grin to think of the mischief they would cause._

 

***

 

Steve and Bucky sat by the edge of the lake, looking out over the water. 

 

“I’ve got to return the stones,” Steve said.Every moment they were kept away from their proper timelines increased the possibility of something going hideously wrong. 

 

Bucky nodded.“Yeah.” 

 

Steve sat for a moment, holding his breath almost. _A whisper in his mind said “don’t tell him, you fool!”_

 

“I have to tell you something.More than one thing, actually.Some things I’ve realized.” 

 

“Yeah?” Bucky answered. 

 

Steve could hardly look away from Bucky’s luminous blue gray eyes, catching the light off the lake and looking improbably large and soulful. 

 

“I’m, well, I’ve always….” _Shut up!_ a voice whispered. 

 

The corner of Bucky’s mouth twitched. “Spit it out, Steve,” Bucky drawled. 

 

“I love you, I’m… I’m in love with you!”Steve frowned. _“Odin’s beard!” said a passing breeze._

 

“Well, you picked a very romantic location, but the look on your face is all wrong,” Bucky said. 

 

Steve looked like he was going to a funeral, which was backwards, because they’d just been to one. 

 

“Listen,” he said intently. 

 

“All ears,” Bucky said. 

 

“I have to take these stones back, see? And one of them goes back to where Peg — in 1970 — she’s right there, Buck. You know?” 

 

“Aw, I get it, pal. I know how you feel about her.”Bucky smiled, and he was so beautiful.They finally had the time to get to know each other again, and Steve was _throwing it all away, what are you thinking, imbecile!_

 

_“_ But the problem is,” Steve stumbled on, “I feel the same way about you. Not the exact same way. I mean, I love you like I love someone I’ve known my whole life, but the admiration is the same, you two are very alike you know…. “ _Shut up, by all the stars!_ Steve finally shut up. 

 

“There’s no problem here, Steve,” Bucky said.“You go back and see Peg, and I’ll just wait here.You’ll be back.Won’t you?” 

 

“I think so.But what if I want to spend some time, you know, with her.This is our only chance, Buck…” 

 

“Take it, Steve.I’ll be right here, whatever you do. Just, come back to me.” 

 

Steve leaned in, and brushed a kiss over Bucky’s lips, a kiss he’d dreamed about his entire life. 

 

His lips tingled as he leaned back.“I’ll come back to you, Buck.Nothing could keep me away.” 

 

***

 

_Loki cast a glamour over Steve, one that aged him at the same rate Peggy aged, one that convinced Steve he was aging as well.Having returned the time stone to Bleecker Street, Steve had no way to return to Bucky except the slow way._

 

_Steve married Peggy, and became the husband and father of her children she had always kept out of the lime light. Loki didn’t need to travel alongside Steve any more, having seen where the stones had gone, and content to make his own mischief down through the years.But he kept up the glamour that kept Steve unnoticed, and stayed to watch the final scene unfold._

 

 

***

 

Sam walked away with the shield that Steve had carried quietly for so many years. 

 

Bucky came over and sat down beside Steve on the bench on the edge of the lake, looking out over the water. 

 

“I gotta admit, I’m a little surprised you went through with it,” Bucky said, glancing at Steve’s wedding ring. 

 

“Why?” Steve said. 

 

“Just, you’ve always been so shy,” Bucky teased.“Waiting until just before disappearing into the past to declare your love is more along your lines.” 

 

“Can’t deny it,” Steve allowed. 

 

“But Peg always brought out the best in you,” Bucky added. 

 

“I do have one regret,” Steve said.“I got old.I’m not sure how much time I have left.” 

 

“Oh,” Bucky said, shaking his head a little.“Why? How old you figure you are now?” 

 

“Well, I went back to 1970 again,” Steve said, “and lived through to now?”

 

They struggled to do the math in their heads, taking into account how old Steve was when he crashed into the ice, and how long it had been since Shield had revived him… 

 

“But so what,” Bucky said, “so what if you’re old.You still look like you always did.” 

 

“What? No,” Steve said. 

 

“I swear,” Bucky laughed.“I never knew you to be vain! Did Peggy swell your head with too many compliments?”

 

“Bucky, no!I’m old — look at me!” 

 

“Steve, look at yourself, man,” Bucky pointed down to the surface of the lake.Steve stood up and looked down.The water wasn’t a great surface, but he did seem to look a lot younger than he remembered. 

 

“Don’t you have a phone, pops?” Bucky teased.“You went through the slow way this time — plenty of time to learn all the gadgets!” 

 

Steve pulled out his phone and turned the camera to selfie. There he was, his younger self. 

 

“But — I don’t understand.I haven’t looked like this in years!” 

 

“Maybe it’s some effect of the time travel.Didn’t Lang turn into a baby?” 

 

“Yes, he did..”Steve suddenly shook his head.“Never mind!It’s your turn now — If I’m young again, maybe I’ll have as many years with you as I did with Peg.” 

 

“I sure hope so,” Bucky said with a smile. 

 

“Thank you—!” Steve send up a silent word of thanks to whatever force in the universe had given him so many second chances. 

 

_“You’re welcome,” a laughing voice drifted to him across the lake, and vanished in the rippling light._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky continue to work things through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had another chapter to add. I've now seen the movie a second time. I still feel like there are a lot of inconsistencies. Like where did Steve leave Thor's hammer??? How many places can you go on a limited number of vials of Pym particles??? How many vials of Pym particles have disappeared over Hank Pym's lifetime, and how angry and paranoid did that make him??? But I have yet more feels. Please let me know if you want to see more!

Steve was tossing and turning on the other side of the bed. Bucky reached over to his side table and turned on a lamp, which cast a dim glow into the room. 

 

“You always have this much trouble? Maybe we oughta lay a pallet on the floor,” Bucky said. 

 

“Hmph,” Steve said. “No.Guilty conscience.” 

 

Bucky rolled over to face Steve, and waited till Steve would meet his eye. 

 

“Whatcha beating yourself up for now, huh Stevie?” Bucky asked with a smile. 

 

“Urggh,” Steve groaned.“I’m such an idiot.” 

 

“That can’t be right,” Bucky smiled. 

 

“Dammit Buck!I thought I was growing old without you!All those years.It served me right, wanting it all.Peggy tried to tell me you wouldn’t care — but I cared.I didn’t think it through.I just thought, I hadn’t aged, I thought…. “ 

 

“But you were right,” Bucky said.“You never aged, and neither did I.” 

 

“But then I did! And I just kept thinking, Bucky’s out there somewhere…. I gave Peggy as much as I could remember from your file… and I tried so hard to stop you from ki— I mean, when they sent you after Howard… “ 

 

“Mmhm,” Bucky soothed.He had wondered what Steve would do with the knowledge that Bucky was out there, in Hydra’s clutches, brainwashed.Most of that time he was behind the Iron Curtain, until he was transferred to the American branch when the Soviets fell… the timeline of his whereabouts was still fuzzy even to him, even after he’d worked so hard at understanding it all with the help of Shuri and the Wakandan dreamworkers. 

 

“I didn’t get there in time.I mean, I was there. I was almost there, right where it happened! But then it was over so fast — the shot, the wreck, and you walking in — I almost had you!And you were already gone, Howard and Maria were already dead.I tried to warn him, but…. “ 

 

“But he didn’t know you,” Bucky said.“He didn’t trust you.” 

 

“No one did.It was so weird!Even Peggy, sometimes, it was like she forgot sometimes who I really was — she’d call me Grant even when we were alone… “

 

He’d gone by Grant Stevens, adopted an identity with a military background, that Peggy helped him forge.Peg was already a divorcee by that time — married earlier to her colleague, Daniel Sousa, a good man by all accounts, but the strain of the pressure they were under didn’t ever let their relationship thrive the way it might have. 

 

Bucky stared at Steve in the dim light of their rented room — theirs until they could find something more permanent in Brooklyn. Steve’s home with Peggy had been in the Virginia countryside, outside Washington.Steve’s eyes were shadowed by regrets and memories Bucky would never share.It was something that Bucky had expected, but not something he’d had time to prepare himself for. Still, Bucky had an important question, one he didn’t know how Steve would take but something that couldn’t be left unsaid.

 

“Steve, I want to ask you.Do you ever wonder — about why no one recognized you? About why you seemed to grow old — and then, you were young again once you gave your shield to Sam? Why no one ever bothers us anymore?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Steve frowned.“So much has changed.” With Tony gone, and Natasha — with Thor out in space, and Carol… being what she was, with Clint officially fully retired, and Dr. Strange living out in the open in Manhattan — no one really needed the old Captain, especially not since Sam had taken up the shield and the mantle of Captain America. 

 

“I’ll tell you something,” Bucky said. 

 

“What?” Steve said, his big eyes sad and stubborn. 

 

“I know something you don’t know,” Bucky laughed. 

 

“What?” Steve demanded. 

 

“If I tell you, you have to swear.No recriminations, okay? Strictly silence of the grave!” Bucky warned. 

 

“I swear,” Steve said, crossing his heart and sealing his lips with crossed fingers. 

 

“I know nobody wants to talk about it,” Bucky said.“Since it isn’t everyone, and it isn’t all the time, and no one can really figure out how to test it with science, but…. “ 

 

“Shit.You see dead people.” Steve whispered, eyes grown large. 

 

There were these rumors, and it was pretty well accepted, and a frustratingly intermittent truth, that the people who’d been brought back from five years on the other side of the veil, were a little more mystically aware than those who’d been left behind. 

 

“Not all the time! Not even most of the time. Just sometimes.Out of the corner of my eye.And I’m telling you.That day at the lake, okay, you keep this on the lowdown….. Thor’s little brother was there.” 

 

Steve’s chin came out and his jaw locked down.The fury lit up inside his eyes, even if he tried to tamp it down.“Loki,” he said with gritted teeth. 

 

“Now you stop!” Bucky said.“You promised no recriminations! If he was there— it seems like he mighta been — he did you no harm!Just, helped you live in secret, like.” 

 

“Oh my god, Bucky,” Steve said.“You’ve never seen him in action!Such a snake!!” 

 

“But all he did was keep you safe,” Bucky said.“No harm in that.It seems like the kind of trick he might enjoy playing, right?” 

 

“But he made me think I was losing you, a little bit more every day older I got!I hated myself for that, I even…. I hated that it was like I chose Peggy over you.I never meant that, I never intended for that to happen, I swear!” 

 

“I know Steve, okay? I gave you my blessing, remember?” 

 

“Bucky, I never had anything except for you…. and then when I had Peggy, when she was my wife, and my kids…. They're mine.They’re really mine.” Steve was crying now.“I love them so much.” 

 

“I know, Steve.I wanted you to have that, more than anything.And now you have me.I don’t hold anything against you, Steve.I swear.I think I knew he was there, even before you went. I just had a sense that something was looking out for you.Remember how calm I was? I never lost you, never even came close.” 

 

“But I still feel….I remember the feeling, losing you, feeling like my time was running out.” 

 

“I’m so sorry, Steve. But I have to say, it made sense, didn’t it? Making people think you were a stranger.No one ever recognized that you were Captain America.No one ever even saw the resemblance.That’s thanks to him.He gave you and your family a normal life.I gotta say, that’s not nothing.”

 

Steve’s frown crumpled into a pained expression Bucky recognized from many long years.Steve didn’t want to admit that someone he disagreed with might be right. 

 

“Next time I see him, I’m gonna shake his hand,” Bucky said. 

 

That lit a fire under Steve. 

 

“Bucky, I declare!You watch out!You never even know what he might look like!He’s the biggest liar — the prince of liars!!” 

 

“Okay, but I got no beef with him, that’s all I’m saying.” Bucky was saying it half to irk Steve, and half in earnest. Loki’s glamour had given Steve a long, happy life.And for that, Bucky owed him a debt, one he’d probably never get the chance to repay. 

 

“I don’t like it,” Steve complained, a tinge of a whine in his voice. 

 

“You don’t have to like it, Stevie,” Bucky said.“All I’m saying is, I’m here — you’re here.We made it, and seems like we owe a little bit of that to Loki.” 

 

“Hm.”Steve’s face was still too crumpled, and Bucky set about the still new and enjoyable business of kissing him into submission. 

 

“Be still, stop worrying, you haven’t done anybody wrong.I love you.Get some sleep.” 

 

“Don’t wanna sleep,” Steve grumbled, sleepily. 

 

“Four hours, that’s all the doctor ordered.Then tomorrow will be another day.” 

 

“Okay, Buck,” Steve said, with a yawn, and Bucky pulled him close. 

 

Steve was larger and warmer and softer than he ever was when they were kids, but still fit perfectly under Bucky’s arm, pressed against his side, right where he belonged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... anyone want the more feels?? I know I was sobbing my way through parts of this movie....
> 
> Your comments will direct what new chapters might be added!


	3. Bucky Thanks Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve never knows how to stay out of trouble, so Bucky thanks Loki for watching over him in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a chapter I've been meaning to add for a long time (since April!) and I finally saw my way in.  
> Goodbye 2019, it's been real!

“I don’t practice Santeria, I ain’t got no crystal ball,” Bucky sang under his breath, setting a shopping bag full of secret supplies down next to the living room coffee table. Steve being away to visit his triple top secret kids for a few days, gave Bucky a chance to do some secret stuff on his own. 

The first thing he pulled out was a very witchy looking black beeswax candle, and then some green and silver thread. He twisted the two colors of thread together and wrapped them around the candle, pressing the twisted cord into the wax until it was fixed. He put the candle onto a green glass candle plate. 

Next, he brought out the sprigs of holly and mistletoe, and made a nice wreath around the candle. Then, he went into the kitchen and raided his stash of Wakandan coffee and chocolate. He wrapped good portions of each in shiny green holiday paper and tied them up with silver ribbon, and added the gifts to the coffee table. 

Looking everything over, he decided he was ready to be up to no good. 

“Loki Laufeyson,” Bucky said, lighting the candle. “Loki Friggasdottir. I call you by name on this darkest night.” 

Technically, the solstice proper was several days ago, but hey, winter festivals usually lasted at least a week, so. 

In a conversational tone he added, “I know you’re a trickster, and I don’t intend to be tricked by you.” 

The candle flame flickered, though Bucky didn’t feel a breeze. 

“I guess I should say, I’m calling you up just to say thank you. I don’t know if you get that a lot. But I told Steve I wanted to shake your hand, so. In case I don’t get to meet you in person, under the common course of events, this is me saying thanks. 

“Thanks for taking care of that punk. He never takes proper care of himself, always getting into the stupidest scrapes. How did he think he was gonna manage back in the past without stirring up worlds of trouble? I have no idea. 

“But thanks for keeping him safe. I know it was you, because I caught a glimpse of you that day at the lake. And I know somehow that the glamour you put on him still is working, even though I don’t see it. I can almost see it when Sam is around, just in the careful way he moves. He still looks to me like Steve oughta look, but he moves slower, like stiffer and more careful. And I know Sam sees the old man, even though I don’t. 

“And that’s another thing. Thanks for letting him feel like himself again. I know you could’ve made it so he never felt young again. I appreciate everything you did for him. For us.

“And also? I know Steve wanted to rescue me out of Hydra, he tried, but he couldn’t convince anyone to help him, and I know that’s because of the glamour. And I just wanna say, I don’t blame you for that. It was the right thing to do to keep him out of trouble. Who knows what rescuing me mighta done to our universe? It was the right call. What’s done has to stay done.”

Bucky let out a slow breath. 

“I know not everyone trusts you. I mean, I got a good friend who’d shoot you between the eyes if he got a chance. But the trick you played on Steve, to me, was for his own good, so I gotta hand it to you. You can keep it up with the glamour as long as you like. I kinda like getting Steve to myself, working with Sam on the side, it’s all for the best, as far as I see it.” 

Bucky took another breath and let it all out. 

“I don’t know. Maybe this is all nonsense but I get the feeling you can hear me. Those of us who went across the veil -- it’s a feeling. Anyway. I’m gonna leave this stuff for you, because, I mean, it’s that time of year…. I hope you like it. Anyway, thanks.” 

Bucky wasn’t sure if he should blow out the candle or what, but in the end, he left it burning, the greenery pushed safely away from the edge of the candle dish. The household AI would wake him up if there was a problem. 

In the morning, the coffee and the chocolate were gone, and the candle was extinguished. 

“I hope I meet you someday,” Bucky thought. 

“Are you certain about that?” murmured the wind. 

Bucky snapped to attention, but heard nothing more than a faintly rattling breeze, like distant laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> This is in response to a few things that bothered me about the movie. Your mileage may vary! I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
